


A Step Forward

by Vaarka



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaarka/pseuds/Vaarka
Summary: Taylor Harris lost her job only days after losing her boyfriend. Her rent is coming up and she can't afford it. Depression and anger tearing her apart, she decides to leave her apartment to visit a place that once made her so happy. While there, she must make a decision about her future, and whether or not it's even worth trying to move on.Includes swearing, smoking, drinking, and suicidal themes/thoughts.
Kudos: 3





	A Step Forward

“I’ve got a number six for table eight!”  
  
“Table three is ready to serve! Table twenty on-”  
  
“Guys where are the desserts for table fifteen?!”  
  
“I’ve got an order of medium rare steak, plus a side of-”  
  
“Come on, guys! Get it together! We’re short staffed tonight!” Ron Jeremy, a tall man with short brown hair, shouted at his chefs as they bustled about in the small, crowded kitchen. He was busy cooking up a side of vegetables in a non-stick pan, watching in the corner of his eye as more and more plates piled up, their dishwasher apparently choosing to be absent during her shift… Again...  
  
“Ron, we’ve got a customer asking to see you at table two.” A waitress with short, blond hair said as she stepped back into the kitchen, rolling her blue eyes as she flipped through her order list.   
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ron asked as he practically threw the pan down onto the grill. “Greg! Keep an eye on my order! And where the hell is Taylor?!”  
  
“She’s not showing again I guess.” The waitress said with a shrug as Ron stormed by, taking off his apron before heading out to the floor.   
  
“For fucks sake…” Ron mumbled as he left the kitchen, heading towards a table near the front of his restaurant. It was a small yet semi-fancy business in downtown Chicago with a rich wooden floor and candlelit tables covered in black clothes. Along the back walls were expensive paintings of several tall buildings, the plaster filled with tiny glass cubes that lit up, resembling a living city. The entire front of the restaurant was glass with white, intricate designs that spelled out the restaurant’s name in cursive, as well as creating a tiny ecosystem of buildings inside the glass. It was at a table beside the windows where Ron stalked up to a tall woman and a tired looking man, both dressed in expensive ware.   
  
Ron straightened his back and tried to force a smile as he stopped in front of the couple. “Hello, welcome to City Lights! Is there anything I can do for you tonight?”  
  
“Are you the manager?”   
  
“Yes ma’am!” Ron cheerfully replied, though his expression made it clear he was anything but cheerful.   
  
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, the waitress looked up in surprise as a black-haired girl sprinted past, wearing jeans and a white button down. She rolled her eyes as the woman quickly grabbed a plate off the counter and began to wash it in the sink.   
  
“Hey! Taylor!” she shouted. “Where the hell have you been?! You were supposed to be here almost two hours ago!”  
  
“I know, I know!” Taylor Harris shouted as she haphazardly pulled her gloves on and began to rinse off the dishes.   
  
“Ron’s gonna have your ass…”  
  
“Yeah well not all of us have easy lives, Liz!” Taylor shouted back. “We’re not all college students working part time with parents to help pay our tuition!”  
  
Liz rolled her eyes. “You’re not in school and this is your only job. At least I manage to show up on time despite my schedule.”  
  
“Don’t you have orders to be taking?!” Taylor screamed.   
  
Liz cocked her brow before shrugging and pushing through the door back into the main part of the restaurant. The door had yet to finish closing before Ron threw it open and stormed back into the kitchen. His eyes widened when he saw Taylor.  
  
“So, where the hell have you been?!”   
  
“I’m sorry! I was busy, okay!?” Taylor shouted back.  
  
“With what!? It’s Saturday night, your schedule has not changed, you didn’t ask me to reschedule you, so you’re supposed to show up at five! Not seven!”  
  
“Yeah, well I’m here now!” Taylor growled. “Just cook your fucking food!”  
  
Ron clenched his fist and turned away, trying to control himself. He rarely got this stressed and angry, but when they were this busy, and she not only showed up late, but was disrespectful about it, it grinded his gears. “Just do your job,” he finally commanded before turning back to the grill. “And you’re staying after to clean, I hope you know that.”  
  
Taylor rolled her eyes. “Bullshit,” she mumbled before grabbing the next plate and spraying it down.  


* * *

  
  
As the clock struck one in the morning, Ron threw a towel over his shoulder and leaned back against the counter of the kitchen, watching as Taylor finished wiping down the tables in the main restaurant. He reached into the pocket of his apron and pulled out an envelope, looking down at the white and yellow paper almost with sympathy. He had put it together once everyone else had left, making a final decision on how he was going to deal with this constant problem.  
  
Taylor, on the other hand, continued to mutter curses under her breath as she finished wiping off the last table, then began to cover it with the black cloth and whatever else she had taken off it. Once she had finished cleaning, she balled up the towels she’d been using and stomped back into the kitchen, intent on leaving immediately. Ron, however, held out his arm to block her path.  
  
“Listen, Taylor…”  
  
Taylor noticed the envelope in his hands, stepping back as she recognized its meaning. “Ron, no…”  
  
“I have to-”  
  
“No, you don’t! You can’t fire me! I need this job, fire someone else-”  
  
“Taylor...”  
  
“Fire fucking Liz, she doesn’t need to be here!”  
  
“Taylor!” Ron shouted.  
  
“I need this job!” Taylor shouted.  
  
“Taylor, we can’t keep doing this!”  
  
“Doing what?” Taylor shouted, glaring up at him as he sighed.   
  
“Do you know how many times I’ve tried to fire you in the past, but decided to give you one more chance?” Ron asked. “Too many times.”  
  
“That is bullshit-”  
  
“I have tried to fire you five times since the year started. It’s not even May yet, Taylor…”   
  
“Well it’s not my fault you keep assigning me times I can’t meet,” Taylor grumbled.  
  
“Taylor, I ask you when you can work and make your schedule around that, and you still show up late constantly! This has been going on for over a year now, and it’s slowing things down in the kitchen drastically.”  
  
“Yeah well life is hard right now! I can’t always keep every promise I make!” Taylor screamed.  
  
“You tell me this every time, Taylor. It’s why I’ve been so hesitant to do this!” Ron shouted. “But I’m at my last straw here! You’re always late, you’re disrespectful, and while I hate leaving someone unemployed, you’re just hurting my business. I need to find someone else if you can’t commit to this job.”  
  
Taylor glared angrily at him before a few tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “Ron, please… I can’t…”  
  
“I’m sorry, Taylor… But you need to go. I can’t keep working with you if you can’t be here when we need you.”  
  
“Ron not now…” Taylor wheezed as she wiped away her tears. “This week... has been so hard on me... I’ve got no money… My apartment rent is due… my boyfriend broke up with me, and-”  
  
“Taylor… Most of these problems have been problems in the past, but that doesn’t excuse the problems you give us… And I’m done dealing with them.” Ron finally said as he held out the envelope. “I’m sorry, I really am… But I’m letting you go. Here’s your final paycheck, and I hope you can figure something out for yourself…”  
  
Taylor wiped a few more tears away, giving him big pleading eyes in hopes that he would change his mind, as he had many times before. However, as the painfully long seconds on the clock ticked by, she finally realized that he wasn’t going to pull the envelope away. She shook her head in frustration as she yanked it out of his hand and stormed off, throwing the back door open and making her way towards the street. Ron stepped out behind her, watching as she walked down the alley, the Chicago lights illuminating the road as she turned the corner and disappeared. He sighed and locked the door, turning the other way to head home for the night.  


* * *

  
  
Taylor stepped up to her apartment, angrily fumbling with her keys as she tried to open the brown door. As it swung open, she was hit by the sour stench of cigarettes and some food she had left open on the kitchen counter that morning. She sighed as she slammed the door shut behind her, flicking on the light switch to reveal a small common room covered in trash. The carpet was filthy from years of use, with an old box television and a tattered gray sofa with several tiny burn marks from cigarette butts that missed the ashtray on the scuffed, wooden coffee table.   
  
She leaned against the messy wall beside the kitchen, staring at the spoiled ramen and chicken she had left behind. Taylor sighed as she mustered no energy to take care of it, instead stalking over to her bedroom, with an equally messy environment. The floor was covered in dirty clothes, creating an even more unique smell, as well as trash, a few cigarette butts, an empty bottle of wine, and a few torn-up letters she had received in the past from her now ex-boyfriend.   
  
As she changed out of her work clothes into sweatpants and a tank top, Taylor made her way back into her living room, plopping down on the sofa and lighting a cigarette. She propped her feet up onto the coffee table and pulled out her phone, sighing as she unlocked it, opening her photos and tapping on an album titled 'Ben'. She flicked through it, longingly staring at all the pictures she had of him, many of them with her in his arms or holding his hand. Her heart ached and her throat dried as she continued to look at all the memories she had created with him, until she eventually reached the picture of their first date, where they had snuck up onto the top of a hotel in the middle of the night, drinking beer and enjoying the view of the city lights. She had fallen in love with him that night, and she couldn’t help but tear up as she stared longingly at the old photo from two years prior.  
  
As she pulled particularly hard on the cigarette, she switched apps, looking at her contacts. She went to her favorites, where only Ben’s name remained. She opened the information, seeing his full name: Benjamin Duncan Smith. His contact image was of him with his tongue out while lying upside down on her sofa. It had been taken over a year ago, his brown hair and lovely blue eyes highlighting the cute picture. Taylor pursed her lips as she wiped at her own brown eyes, looking at the phone number. She hesitantly held her thumb over the call button… And then pressed it.   
  
The phone rang quietly as she held it up to her ear. It kept ringing until eventually she was met with his voicemail.   
  
_'Hey, this is Ben Smith! Sorry I can’t answer right now, so please leave a message!'_  
  
She listened to the beep and sat silently as a message began to record. After about ten seconds, she finally spoke.   
  
“Hey… It’s me again… I just need someone to talk to right now, so... Please call me back when you get the chance…”  
  
She waited another few seconds before hanging up, choking on tears as she dropped her phone onto the sofa. She blew smoke between her lips and flicked the cigarette away, watching it fall apart on the floor beneath her. Gray fog curled up from the red tip, slowly burning a tiny hole into the carpet. She then leaned her head back, tiredly lighting another as she looked at the wall behind her, trying to make out the time on the clock while upside down. She watched as the seconds ticked by, then the minutes, until nearly an hour had passed. Her second cigarette, as well as a third, had long since burned down, the butts lying on the floor beneath her.   
  
As she finally pulled her head back up, looking at herself and the mess she lived in while struggling to deal with the welling pain inside of her, she wiped at her eyes and lied down, contemplating her situation. She was unemployed, very recently single, and had almost no money left in her bank account. Even with the paycheck, it wasn’t enough to pay rent. She’d only gotten by because of Ben’s help, after all.   
  
She hated this.   
  
As she unlocked her phone again, she decided to check Ben’s social media. Hopefully he hadn’t called back this time because he was asleep, right?  
  
As she opened up Instagram, she saw that he had last been online only half an hour earlier. There was no way he hadn’t seen her missed call… Just like all of the other calls she’d kept making over the past few days.   
  
“You fucker,” she whimpered as she closed out of the app and stood up, unable to bear staying still anymore. She paced around her living room, repeating different scenarios in her own head for if he called back. What he might say, what she would say back. She wanted him to call and apologize, to say he wanted her back. She wanted to tell him all about what was happening, and how he’d hurt her. She wanted him to apologize for that too, and for them to get back together… She paced for nearly half an hour before her phone lit up. Taylor gasped as she desperately grabbed it, unlocking it to see who had texted her. Her heart raced as her phone presented a new message to her, but immediately sank when she saw it was from an uninformed coworker, simply asking if she could cover their shift on Monday.   
  
Taylor angrily threw her phone back down and dashed back into her bedroom, grabbing the paycheck envelope. She then stomped into her kitchen, grabbing her last beer from the fridge and heading out the door, leaving her keys behind. She needed to get out of her apartment. She wasn’t entirely sure where she was going, but she didn’t really care. She just had to get away for a little while, and she didn’t much care if she came back. 

  


* * *

  
“Have a good night, ma’am.” The taxi driver said as Taylor stepped out of the car. She thanked him; having made sure to tip him with whatever cash she had left.   
  
Once he had sped off, she turned around and looked up at a skyscraper of a hotel. It was a large black building with golden lights dotting up to the top. In big, golden letters above the entrance, it read _'The Langham'_. She reached into her pocket, grimacing when she realized her phone was not there; it was still on the sofa in her apartment. Part of her desperately wanted to go back, just in case Ben had maybe called back.   
  
She shook her head. She didn’t need it right now, and Ben wouldn’t call her back, not at this time of night. With a sigh, Taylor made her way inside, ignoring the quiet, lonely lobby with one staff member sitting on his phone behind the welcome desk. Without even looking up, he said “Have a good night, ma’am.”  
  
The lobby alone was about as large as Ron’s City Lights restaurant, with marble floors and pillars, as well as a fountain quietly bubbling in the center. Sofas lined the walls, and in the back corner, tables lined up near a row of flat screen televisions, displaying the early morning news, telling her it was just after four o’clock. The kitchen staff weren’t in yet, and the place was strangely quiet. Nonetheless, she made her way over to the elevators, pressed the button, and stepped inside once it had arrived, trying to ignore the boring elevator music.   
  
She eventually arrived at the top floor, looking around for a stairwell. She walked down a carpeted hallway, with white and gray walls that were littered in paintings and other decorations. Several of the brown doors were silent, though she could hear the occasional television, crying baby, fighting couple, plus whatever other noises that erupted from inside that signified the people in the room were awake.   
  
Finally, she found the stairwell, pushing the door open. As expected, the stairs went down. However, in this stairwell, there was a blocked off section that went up. She easily climbed over the locked railing and crept up to the top, eventually meeting a heavy door. She tested the handle, frowning when it didn’t budge. Maybe they had fixed the handle…  
  
She struggled to remember what Ben had done that night, nearly two years earlier. She replayed it over and over in her head, then leaned as hard as she could against the door, pulling the handle up.   
  
Finally, the door swung open, and Taylor nearly fell onto her face, stumbling forward onto the windy roof looking out over Chicago. She took a moment to balance herself, then stood up straight, chills shooting down her spine as the cold wind blew against her not-very-well-clothed body.   
  
Behind her, the door slammed shut, and she gasped as it locked behind her, swearing at herself for forgetting that Ben had put his shoe in the door to keep it from fully closing. She eventually shrugged as she walked over towards the far corner, overlooking a giant pool behind the hotel. It was dark at this time of night, but it still glistened under the lights of the city, which stretched out for miles. In the distance, she could see the Outer Drive Bridge, alone above the river.   
  
She held her arms as the wind buffeted against her, but she smiled as she sat down on the edge of the roof, recalling when she had sat down there two years prior. She and Ben had cracked open a beer in May of 2015, watching the city at one in the morning as it settled down for the night. Even now it was much quieter, much more dead than before. None of it quite felt the same… The first time she had been there, it had been one of the most beautiful views she had ever seen in her entire life. She could recall watching the clouds go by above the dazzling city lights while Ben held her in his arms. Something about it had made it so magical back then, so inspiring and beautiful… And that something was no longer there.   
  
As she pulled on her cigarettes and downed her can of beer, she watched the night go by as the morning continued to come in, the early deliveries beginning to leave their depots and head into the city. The sky remained dark, but as it grew close to five o’clock, she knew light would soon show itself along the horizon.   
  
With a sigh, she chucked her empty beer can over the edge, hoping it landed in the pool down below. She flicked her cigarette butt over with it too, lighting her last one before chucking the box as well.   
  
As Taylor smoked it down, she reached into her pocket, pulling out the envelope that Ron had given her a few hours earlier. She debated tearing it in half, but chose instead to open it. She pulled the check out, tossing the envelope off the edge behind the rest of the trash, and pulled out her lighter so she could see the writing. She eventually concluded that she had earned around two hundred dollars, which obviously included a generous tip from her previous boss. She smiled for a moment, realizing that she could barely pay the rent with this final pay boost.   
  
However, all that happiness melted away as she stood up on the edge, staring out at the city. All the magic and happiness she had once felt was gone. She had nothing anymore, nor did she have the motivation to find a new job that could help her barely meet ends just like her previous one had. She sniffled as she looked at the paycheck which made her realize that her entire life would probably be just like this: miserably earning money that just barely kept her going.   
  
No job, no money, no boyfriend to help her, and probably no apartment in the coming months…   
  
With a sigh, she pulled her cigarette from her lips and held the end against the paper. After a few moments, it caught, and Taylor let the fire slowly creep its way up the paycheck, infecting it with a charred black edge that shrank away each moment. She then flicked away the butt and let the paycheck flutter down towards the ground behind it. The small slip of paper twirled and flipped around, dancing during its long descent. Her eyes lit up as she watched it burn, and even if the magic was gone, for just a single moment, that flaming paycheck seemed beautiful from where she stood on the precipice of the hotel. She watched it burn up, and finally closed her eyes, trying to ingrain it in her mind. Taylor eventually smiled, leaning her head back and breathing in the crisp cold air from the wind one last time before taking a step forward. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a submission for a writing competition. It won 1st place, so I'm hoping others will like it too. Let me know what you think!


End file.
